Confrontation | How to stand up for yourself in 4 beneficial ways


It is not above you

To many people, the task of confrontation may seem too strenuous for their passive-aggressive, non-confrontational selves, but in this post, the idea is that it isn’t and that you should engage yourself in necessary confrontation. It is after all the establishment of values through discourse.

Now, I understand for some people in a strategic act to ignore those who aren’t worth wasting their breath over, its easier to turn the other cheek, lest you allow yourself to engage in dialogue that wastes not only your efforts but also your time.

To those people, I say “try it…another way”. I understand that it’s already pretty self-explanatory but I’ll do you one better and further explain that point through the use of a Greek tale. 

When the Greeks wanted to invade the city of Troy during the trojan war but couldn’t get passed its gates they instead built the trojan horse and offered it as a peace offering, symbolizing the victory of the people of troy over the Greeks after a 10-year siege.

However, within the confines of the trojan horse lay a small army of Greek warriors ready for combat once the horse had entered the castle, which allowed the Greeks to set siege to troy and thus they became victorious. 

When the Greeks couldn’t confront their enemy in the most direct way possible they strategized, planned and executed. In short, they found another way.

That’s something to keep in mind, as it can be very useful for a myriad of reasons. These are, but are not limited to; Finding alternative points of confrontation, Strategizing your life to get the most out of it and how to know if you hit the nail on the head when choosing the best strategy.

I could talk on and on about these ideas but I’ll leave them for another time. Now then, I’ll stop beating around the bush and get right to the point, let’s carry on talking about confrontation.

Your reason matters

In order to engage in confrontation, you don’t necessarily need a valid reason, sometimes you don’t even need one in order to win. However, if you plan on looking less like a fool and more like a civilised person of some intellect then I’d suggest you try extra hard on finding the right reason for confrontation. 

The best way to do this is to imagine a completely different set of people unrelated to yourself. Then create a reason and a counter reason for a confrontation between the two, relate it to your own situation and allow one of those imaginary people to use your reason for confrontation. 

Now, take the role of the opposition. Try to counter your own point to see if there are any flaws in your understanding, do this as unbiasedly as possible for a greater understanding. If there are very little to no flaws in your original reason, even after you have just argued against it, you are most likely in the right. 

However, try to find as many reasons for confrontation that the opposition may have against you because you may be in the wrong if there are enough flaws in your argument, and let’s be honest, you won’t be right all the time and it is better to learn then stay ignorant.

So what do you do if you know you’re in the wrong? Well, the first thing to do is accept that your main reason for an argumentative exchange is meaningless.

Then put that, as well as arrogance, aside and be open to interpretative and suggestive thought, which isn’t your own. The acquisition of new-found knowledge is reliant on this idea, honour it as much as possible. 

Joining forces

Best case scenario, if you are on the wrong side of a confrontation, is that you may be able to learn from the other person you are confronting. With that in mind, if it’s possible, be-friend that person because let’s face it, By constantly engaging people who have more in-depth perspectives than your own and are able to form a more structured argument, will force you to do better. So if this person doesn’t degrade your happiness and isn’t overly obnoxious, then I’d suggest be-friending them. 

That’s assuming you even want to and whether or not they are likeable, to say the least, try to find some sort of shared interest and capitalise on it, it may lead to a fruitful friendship, which could possibly make you a more thought-out person.

You don’t have to do this but as I said, it’s good to be open-minded. You may even share a lot of hobbies; Basketball, Photography, heck both of you may even be into graphic design or makeup tutorials.

Whatever it may be, it’s not that hard to start a conversation, all you have to do is put your pride aside and make peace with that person. Whatever you decide to talk about, even something like your favourite basketball team could be enough to break the ice and have a conversation with that person.

Find a common ground

For a successful confrontation, it is not necessary to win but rather to learn. It is also important that you let your points be known, as these may be quite important to you. 

Now that you have done that, be prepared to settle, not on your values but on what you can gain. Think about it this way, to obtain the world, you must first acquire small parts of it. 

You may not have been able to get through to someone completely and much of what you say may not register with the person you choose to confront, but if you can get a few points across and those points are not only well-received but change that person’s views for the better, you have won and you will continue to do so the next confrontation you have, or rather the next discussion you have, if you carry yourself accordingly. Therefore, gain gradually and you will never have to settle.

As always I hope that you’ve gained some guidance and something of value from this post. Feel free to email or message me on social media regarding any topics you may want me to discuss in my next blog post. All links are on my home page. Until next time, keep questioning, keep being contemplative and always stay conscious. 


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About the author

The scholarly mind

I'm a Writer, life-style blogger and a lover of knowledge. I aim to help those who may need it, whether its self-improvement, productivity tips or the occasional love advice, I'm here to help.

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